Are you kidding?

20Feb08

I’ve been in college now for two and a half years. I’ve weathered 153 credits, two honors programs, learning to cook my own food, three seasons of American Idol, and more alarm buzzes that you can shake an embittered, angry fist at.

Never did I think I’d see the day when both my kitchen and my fridge lights would be blown out at the same time.

This is my kitchen now. If you think I’m kidding, come visit. I dare you.

Do you know what it’s like to enter the kitchen, an age-old symbol of comfort and familial bliss, only to be greeted by the dark, dank feel of disappointment? When left without the idyllic security of an overhead light, I’m left to my own devices. My ramshackled attempts to still function in the kitchen usually rely on two things: the light in the microwave and the light in the fridge. Between these two sources of inspiration, there has been nary a quesadilla I haven’t been able to conquer.

But now, all that has been taken away. Where can a poor, afflicted soul turn when there is darkness on all sides? Not to the fridge, that’s for sure. Imagine the despair. It’s like if Congress suddenly overturned the two-term limit, then Bush ran again and won. It’s like if they cancelled American Idol, then played the film Rushmore in its place every week.

For those of you surfing the internet in the back of the room at this point, this was a very bad night.

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