Disneyland: A short travel log


3:30 AM: Arose after four fitful hours of “sleep” to bound in and out of shower. Imminent presence of sun and warm weather resulted in haphazard attempt to shave legs. Wounds will heal. Scars don’t form as quickly in Disneyland.

4:00 AM: Dragged boyfriend (who dragged luggage) down to car and over to McDonald’s drive thru. Wonder to self why America created own lexiconic variation of “through” to supplement innovation of drive up fast food. Thought quickly passes. Too early for critical wonderings.

5:20 AM: Arrive at PDX. Stomach in knots, mostly due to sausage burritos. Residual nervousness at flying lone ranger for first time. Pray will not need to step in and fly plane during emergency situation.

5:45 AM: Made it through (thru?) security complete with shoes and liquids/gels intact. $65 comfy shoes already chafing on instep. In desperate need of band-aids.

6:10 AM: Have located package of two band-aids and single serving neosporin. Theorize that cost in any other situation could supply year’s worth of band-aids and feed entire third world country.

6:15 AM: Blister crisis averted. Realize immediate necessity of bathroom.

6:17 AM: Upon staring at diagram on back of stall door, wonder why water saving “liquid waste” flush requires user to antithetically press up on handle. Wonder further where Water Saver Toilet Handle inventor retired early and spent fortune. Perhaps living in fortress made entirely of band-aids and sausage burritos.

6:25 AM: Pre-emptive boarding call. Have discovered zit on inside of elbow. Arm rest discomfort pending.

6:35 AM: Board plane. Marvel at things people bring on planes. Includes cottage cheese container, carry-on larger than my grandma, and tribes of small children.

6:36 AM: Window seat. Score.

6:45 AM: After ten minutes of sitting on plane, reconsidering yesterday’s Brazilian wax. Irreversible things in life: war, spelling errors, and hair removal.

7:00 AM: Liftoff and we’re on our way.


One Response to “Disneyland: A short travel log”

  1. 1 Burton

    Was it as late as 4:00 AM when we left? I feel like it was earlier…

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